For couples therapy to be effective and emotionally safe, both partners need to be able to fully engage in the process. There are three situations in which I do not begin couples therapy:

• Ongoing domestic violence or abuse (physical, sexual, or psychological): Safety is the priority. I recommend individual therapy with a provider experienced in domestic violence to help establish safety and support.
• Active substance abuse or dependence: When one or both partners are actively struggling with substance use, it can interfere with communication, emotional regulation, and the therapeutic process. I recommend addressing substance-related concerns in individual treatment before beginning couples therapy.
• An ongoing affair: Couples therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to the relationship. If an affair is currently ongoing, the continued betrayal can make the therapy process emotionally unsafe. If the affair has ended and both partners are committed to repairing the relationship, couples therapy can be an appropriate next step.

If you’re unsure whether couples therapy is the right fit for your situation, we can discuss your concerns during a consultation and determine the most appropriate path forward.